Slowly Breaking
by shorty-girly
Summary: Summary: It's harry's 6th year at Hogwarts and it hasn't started off well. Abused at the Dursley's and memories haunting Harry while Voldemort is on the move. My first fanfic so be nice! probably HHr. rating may change to M soon.
1. Dizzy

Slowly Breaking  
  
Summary: It's harry's 6th year at Hogwarts and it hasn't started off well. Abused at the Dursley's and memories haunting Harry while Voldemort is on the move. My first fanfic so be nice!  
  
Pairings: H/hr, R/haven't decided!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that looks familiar! If i did my name would be JK Rowling and i'd be rich! Don't sue! You'd only be getting 50c!  
  
Warning: Includes spoilers from OOTP! Rated PG13 for abuse and because I dunno what's going to happen yet!  
  
Chapter one: Dizzy  
  
It was a scorching hot summers' day in Privet Drive. Everyone was inside finding all the shelter they could. Exept one very skinny, black haired, bespectacled boy who was bent over pulling the weeds from the garden of number 4 privet drive. His name was Harry Potter.  
  
'You finished yet boy? I have plenty of other chores for you, you know.' A shrill voice asked.  
  
'Yes Aunt Petunia' Replied Harry. He was used to this. He had been home from hogwarts 9 days and already could not wait to get back.   
  
He absent-mindedly rubbed the back of his sunburnt neck and winced instantly. He had been outside for 3 hours. He needed a drink but first had to fix the tv arial. He got up, and trying not to fall back over he went a got the ladder. His stomach grumbled but he ignored it. It had been awhile since he had eaten, but knew that he definitaly wouldn't get anything before he got up on the roof and did his task.  
  
Climbing slowly up the ladder he reached the roof and began to work.  
  
Half an hour later he was definitaly getting dizzy from lack of food. he was almost finished though. Dudley came waddling along and started throwing rocks at harry while he stuffed his face full of food.  
  
'Go away Dudley! Can't you see i'm trying to fix your good damn tv?' harry yelled in fustration, knowing it wouldn't help.  
  
He was getting very dizzy.  
  
Suddenly the world seemed to be spinning. He tried to contol himself but then everything went black.  
  
Harry opened his eyes. It took him about half a miniute to figure out what was happening. He was lying on the ground and the roof looked very high up. dudley was poking him with a stick.  
  
' what's wrong with you freak? can't you handle being up high?'  
  
harry tried to speak but his mouth didnt seem to want to move. Everywhere was aching, but amazingly it didnt seem like anything was broken. Just then Harry heard another voice sending fear through his body.  
  
'GET UP! YOU LAZY, DISRESPECTFUL. FREAK! Get back on the roof. Oh you better watch out when you're done. You know whats coming you wierdo! And you deserve it!'  
  
It was Uncle Vernon. He kicked harry in the gut and stormed away. Harry was left to wonder what his punishment would be and to try and climb the ladder again. It took him a full 5 minutes but he made it up. Definitaly not for the first time so far this summer, Harry's thoughts wondered to Sirius. He was so guilty and miserable. It was his fault. He was a freak. It was his fault. He wondered what Sirius would say if he could see him. Nothing good.  
  
Trying to get his mind off the subject that it always seemed to wonder to, He got to work. It took him a lot longer to finish the job than he expected as he was always careful to sit down every now and then so he didnt collapse again. As darkness was falling and the job was done, He got up and went to the ladder.  
  
Only the ladder wasnt there.  
  
He yelled out in annoyance. Thats when Dudley came back with an evil smile. Harry knew at once who took the lader.  
  
'Dudley let me down!' He yelled, feeling worried. He didn't know if his body could handle staying up here for much longer.  
  
Dudley just kept laughing and waddled away.  
  
'DUDLEY! damn it!'  
  
It was night time now. The warm smell of food reached his nose. suddenly he got such a bad feeling of hunger he collasped to his knee's. This was not good. It was getting very chilly. Harry got prepared to spend a night on the roof, trying not to think about what Ron and Hermione would say if they could see him. It was very cold.  
  
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Was that okay? Please review! I wanna know if i should continue!  
  
Next chappie: We'll see how harry is coping on the roof! And what the punishment from Uncle Vernon is! 


	2. Worry

**Slowly breaking**  
  
**Disclaimer:** i am not J.K Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter. If i did i'd be rich and writing books, not fanfics!  
  
Thanks to the reviewers! it meant heaps to me!  
  
**Sparrow Greenleaf:** Yeah I know! a bit mean! lol.  
  
**Moonypadfoot:** lol. thanks and i will!  
  
**Chapter 2: Worry**  
  
Harry woke the next morning to find his body almost numb with cold. He was shaking and had tears in his eyes. he had had yet another dream about Sirius. He sat and shook until Uncle Vernon came outside. Harry slowly climbed down the ladder that had been put against the house again. He followed his Uncle in to the warm house. The heat wrapped around him as he walked in the door.   
  
'Well boy, have a nice sleep?' Uncle Vernon sneered. The Dursley's all sniggered. Harry didn't find it funny at all.  
  
'well get us some breakfast, you useless freak.' Vernon yelled.  
  
'yes sir!' harry replied, knowing he shouldn't get on Uncle Vernon's bad side. He wondered if he was still getting punished later. He hoped not. He still hadn't fully recovered from last time.  
  
He put the bacon on and made his Uncle some Tea. Aunt Petunia had wandered off somewhere. Proberly to check if he had done the garden well enough. As he was handing the Tea over to Uncle Vernon, He ruined everything.  
  
'AAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOO!' He sneezed and spilt the Tea all down his uncle's suit. He was in for it now.  
  
'POTTER! you little shit! Do you know how god damn hot that stuff is? No i guess you don't because YOU don't have it all down your front do you? NO! well maybe i should show you how much it hurts and add some pain aye? what do you say to that? come with me you little brat!' Vernon Dursley shouted as he dragged harry up the stairs and into Harry's room.  
  
He took of his belt.  
  
Panic rushed through Harry's mind but he stayed where he was. He bit his lip and tried hard not to think about the pain, that he had suffered his whole life.  
  
Harry woke up several hours later in His cuboard. He realized he must have been knocked into unconciousnis while he was beaten. Everywhere was aching. Suddenly Vernon Dursley opened the door.  
  
'There's another one of those stupid notes from your freak friends Potter! They think they're going to take you away! No way in hell! i'm sick of being humiliated in front of those freaks. Your staying here!' He shouted.  
  
Harry grabbed the letter.  
  
_Dear Harry  
  
How have you been? Glad to hear that the Dursley's are treating you well, although it sounds like you're hiding something. You'll tell us when you're ready though.  
  
We can't say much in this, in case it's intercepted, but we're coming at 1.00pm tomorrow. Be ready!  
  
From Hermione and Ron  
_  
'shit!' harry thought. 'they can't see me like this!'  
  
He sneezed again and shivered. he was freezing cold. He had a feeling the night on the roof hadn't been good for him and He was feeling very weak from lack of food. he felt dizzy again. vey dizzy. He passed out  
  
He dreamed without knowing it was a dream.  
  
_He saw Sirius falling through a ragged veil. He saw his parents through the mirror. He saw cedric's cold, empty grey eyes. Lupin was shouting.  
  
'It's all your fault!'  
  
Hermione and Ron were shouting too.  
  
'It's all your fault!'  
  
Everyone was yelling at him.  
  
'It's all your fault!It's all your fault!'  
  
He saw Voldemorts red eyes, looking back at him through a mirror.  
  
' you will be mine Potter, You will not defeat me!' He hissed.  
_  
Harry woke up with sweat dripping down his face. He was shaking. He was burning up. He faded into Darkness again, Only to more dreams of insainity and fear.  
  
It was 1 o'clock. 3 wizard's apparated into the Dursley's kitchen. Petunia Screamed.  
  
'Settle down would you? We are here to take Harry for the remainder of the summer. If you could please show us to him, it would be a good idea.' Remus Lupin spoke in a calm voice.  
  
Petunia Just stood there shaking.  
  
Just then Vernon Dursley walked into the room and stared with shock, but then remembered the note.  
  
'I'm not giving you Potter!'  
  
' Dursley, might i remind you, you are a muggle, and therefore in no condition to fight us?' Mad-eye Moody said.  
  
There was silence, when all that could be heard was a whimpering noise. It was coming from the cuboard underneath the stairs. The wizards ran to it in shock.  
  
They opened the door.  
  
There was an injured, feverish Harry Potter.  
  
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Well i hope that was good enough. I'm giving Harry a bit of a hard time aren't I! Please review! It means heaps to me!  
  
Next Chappie: Harry gets to safety, and others are in disbelief of what has become of the boy who lived. Harry see's his friends! 


	3. Distrust

Slowly breaking

Disclaimer: I am not J.K Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter. If i did i'd be rich and writing books, not fanfics!

Thanks everyone who reviewed last chap!! It helps me knowing someone is actually reading what I'm writing! yay!

Sorry about the delay! I've been busy and I had a bit of a case of writers block. This was very annoying as we were doing creative writing in English! I hope this chappies ok! Please review! It helps so much!

**ChibiYugiYasha:** thanks heaps! hopefully I'll have more time next week to update.

**Freedom isn't Free:** Thanks for the advice! I'll try and improve.

**Moonypadfoot:** lol you took the words out of my head! He's not that happy to be back in Grimmauld place! Thanks for reviewing!

**klare():** thanks! you definitely helped me out as I was wondering whether or not to delete the story as I couldn't seem to get it started again! you definitely game me more confidence!

Anyway on with the show

(Finally)

**Chapter 3: Distrust**

When Harry Potter woke the next morning, he was surprised to find out his wasn't locked under the stairs anymore. He started to wonder if this was another dream, but then he realized there were several people around his bed, like Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore. He suddenly realized where he was. The last place in the world he would ever want to go. Grimmauld Place. Flashes of his godfather went through his mind. Sirius singing to Christmas carols, Helping Mrs Weasley with dinner, Arguing with Snape, The jet of red light hitting Sirius as his body curved and fell into the veil. Harry couldn't stay here.

He suddenly realized someone was talking to him.

'Harry? How are you feeling?' It was Dumbledore.

Harry didn't even respond.

'Do you care to tell us how you got these injuries? We have suspicions but please tell us.'

Harry looked into the somber blue eyes. He still didn't utter a word.

'Please Harry we need to know. I know it's been hard lately but we really need to know.' It was Lupin.

But Harry didn't want to tell them. He deserved what he got. It was his fault Sirius died. He didn't want their sympathy. He didn't deserve it. So instead of the truth he replied

'I fell down the stairs.'

This was half true, as Dudley had pushed him down the stairs several times.

'Harry, we know that's not the truth. It was something or someone else, wasn't it.'

Harry just shrugged ' Who cares? I'm fine.'

'You are not fine! Please Harry! Tell us, or we will have to find out another way.' Lupin begged.

Harry just ignored him. Then the next minute his nose was being blocked and something was being poured down his throat. He coughed and spluttered.

'Harry, how did you get these injuries?' Lupin asked.

It was then that the realization hit Harry. They had just forced him to drink Verusitisum (AN: spelling?).

'My Uncle and cousin beat me.' The words just came tumbling out of his mouth. 'I also fell of the roof.'

Dumbledore nodded sadly, looking older than ever before.

'I'm sorry Harry. I put you there. I thought it would protect you but obviously not. Please tell us what your uncle and cousin did to get you this way.'

Harry bit his lip so hard it bled. He wasn't going to answer him, no matter what.

'Harry? What did they do?'

The words spilled from Harry's lips uncontrollably

'They starved me, kicked me, hit me, and pushed me and anything they could think of.'

Harry managed not to add anything else.

'How often Harry? Lupin asked

'Since I was 4.'

Shocked gasps were heard around the room. Harry no longer cared. He wanted to get out of here. He did the only thing he could think of – he ran.

Obviously he didn't get far as he realized his injuries were not fully healed and he collapsed into a heap beside his bed.

'Let me out! I hate it here! I hate you! I hate you all! No wonder I don't trust anyone! Look what happens when I almost trusted you guys? You force me to talk about things I don't want to! Things I hate! You all think I'm supposed to be perfect but I'm not!' Harry screamed.

He felt strong hands push him back into bed and he felt a cool potion slide down his throat. 30 seconds later he had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep.

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_Was that ok? Hope so! Sorry 'bout the wait! My dad finally got word installed again so the spellings probably better!_

_Please review!_

_Next chap – Hermione and Ron come to see Harry. Harry gets angry. Stuff gets broken! Warning- Don't get Harry pissed off!_

_I'll try get it up whenever I can!_


	4. Anger

**Slowly breaking**

Disclaimer: I am not J.K Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter. If i did i'd be rich and writing books, not fanfics!

Hey, im sorry! i totally forgot about this! ive had a lot on my mind. if you still want to read im going to be updating more reguarly especially since its holidays soon. also my birthday :) yay!

thanks for everyone who reviewed my last chapter(if you can even remember back that far!). Reviews help so much! Im gunna try get this story back off the ground. if im a lil slow at updating forgive me! stupid ncea year!

now on with the show!

**Chap 4 - Anger**

When Harry woke up, the sun was shining through the windows and he lay there for a moment while all that had happened in last last two weeks washed through him. He felt so betrayed by Dumbledore, Byt even more so by Lupin. Harry had thought that Lupin would have a small idea how Harry was feeling, because of Sirius but he had been let down.  
He dully noted that he wasnt hurting as much anymore. Just random twinges of pain every now and then. He was more injured inside than out.

He heard footsteps up the hall, and grabbed his glasses from the bedside table. Madam Pomfrey strolled in, with a potion flask.

'How are you feeling Harry?' She asked.

'When am i getting out of here. im fine!' he told her.

'not until Professor Dumbledore see's you. and besides, you need to rest because your not as strong as you normally would be. Now take this. its a strength potion and it will last for about 4 hours, and you'll need to take it reguarlly.' she explained.

Harry didnt take in any of it. He was busy worrying about Dumbledore. No way did Harry want to see him. He didnt want to see anyone. he tried to get out of bed but madam Pomfrey just pushed him back down and forced him to take the potion. Harry suddenly felt the feelings of last night come back again. and thats when Dumbledore decided to walk in.

'Madam Pomfrey, would you be able to leave me with Harry for a moment?'

Pomfrey got up and with a last checkup of Harry she went to her office, leaving Harry alone with the headmaster.

Dumbledore broke the silence. 'Harry i know you are angry with me, but you must know i did what i thought was best'  
Harry refused to look at him, staying as silent as before.

'Harry, please tell me how youre feeling. I know you've been going through a hard time, but you dont have to keep it all inside. Talk to me, i might know how youre feeling.'

Harry glared at him. 'Or what? You'll force me to drink Verusitism again? you expect me to forgive you staight away and act like nothing happened? we both know it doesnt work that way. sir' he added angrily. ' you've got no idea how im feeling! don't even pretend you do! im sick of people telling me that i have to be perfect. i cant be a hero.'

'Harry you were born a hero, nothing can change that. everyone makes mistakes. I myself had made many, but it is mistakes that show us how to make things right again.' Dumbledore said gently.

'What about Sirius? huh? that wont ever be right again! face it professor! not all mistakes can be made right again! i mad4e a mistake and nothing i can do will ever fix it! Sirius is dead and its my fault!'

'Do not blame yourself. It was not your fault. and do not dwell on what could of been. focus on the future and what you can do, with the knowledge of your mistakes.' Dumbledore stated before turning away. 'Oh and Ron and Hermione wish to see you. They are very worried. they will be up in an hour. Until then think about what i told you.' and he left, leaving a very agitated Harry in his wake. He threw the vase next to the bed at the wall and watched it shatter into hundreds of tiny pieces, with satisfaction.

'how dare he? he doesnt understand. he sent me to the dursleys. he told me id be safe. he knows nothing. He's not as wise as I used to think.' harry mumbled to himself. after a few minutes his mumbling died down and he feel asleep in the comfort of the sun on his bed.

An hour later, just as Dumbledore has said, Hermione and Ron ran in to find Harry, now awake, looking out his window. Harry yurned around and was suddenly engulfed in a big hug form the bushy haired girl.

'Hermione im okay, but you're suffocating me!'

hermione blushed and backed away.

'hey mate' the gangly red head said to his friend. he had amazingly grown another half inch, but wasnt quite as skinny as before.

suddenly Harry wished they'd both just go away. he didnt want to talk to them. theyd want answers to questions he didnt want to be asked. he fiddled with his pillowcase, not knowing what to do. Ron broke the silence.

'Hey Harry, what happened over here?' he asked, pointing to the remains of the vase.

Harry looked up and with complete emptiness in his eyes said 'I threw it at the wall.'

Hermione gasped, but Harry wasn't sure if it was from what he said, or his tone of voice as he said it. It was as if all the emotion and 'Harryness' has been sucked out of it.

'Harry,' she asked tentivley, 'What happened to you at the Dusleys? Nobody will tell us anything. Was it Voldemort? or...' she trailed off.

Harry looked at her for a few second before answering.

'It was the Dursleys.'

With this Hermione broke down. She couldnt contain her tears.

'Oh Harry! why didnt you say something?' she weeped. ' I always knew something wasnt right there but you never spoke of them. and I knew you were hiding something in your letters!'

Ron was looking puzzled. 'Hang on, what did they do? why are you crying 'mione? Im missing something arent i?'

Harry took a deep breath, knowing he would have to fill in his friend about the life he had hoped no-one would find out about.  
'well ...' harry began.

Was that any good? i tried making it longer. please review! oh and by the way, i'd relly appreiciate if you would read my one shot songfic called 'Weight of the world'. thanks!


	5. Truth

**Slowly breaking**

**Disclaimer:** I am not J.K Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter.

hey sorry this has taken awhile. my lifes been a bit hectic. i feel like writing right now though. i had a bad day.  
you'll have to bear with me with random updates. im not a very organized person. im actually suffering deppresion and writing is just one of my outlets.  
im trying to keep everything nder control though and i'll hopefully be writing when i get time.

**charl1e -** thanks for review! means heaps to me:)

**chap 5 - Truth**

Harry took a deep breath, knowing he would have to fill in his friend about the life he had hoped no-one would find out about.  
'well ...' harry began.  
Harry paused. he couldnt seem to find the right words. how do you explain to your friends that you've been lying to them?

'see Ron, the thing is... er... the dursleys gave me the injuries. they beat me.' Harry finally said, waiting nervously for Rons reaction. he didnt have to wait long.

'WHAT? you mean the dursleys did this? where the bloody hell is he? i'll hurt him so bad he wont know which ways right' Ron babbled on until Harry broke in.

'Ron stop. its not as if i didnt deserve them.'

Hermione let out a chocked gasp, and Harry realized what he had said. Ron looked confuzed again.

' What do you mean you deserved them? you didn't blow up another Aunt did you? did you do magic on them or something?' Ron asked.

'no just forget about it okay.' harry said hurridly wishing they would leave before anything else he didnt want them knowing slipped out of his mouth. Hermione watched him close himself off again and let out a small sigh. she could tell what was going on in his head. she always could.  
that was one of the reasons she was so suprised that harry had managed to keep this from her. she knew Harry was feeling guilty, but she couldnt fix that on her own.

' Sorry guys but im a bit tired. would you mind letting me get some sleep for awhile?' Harry asked, breaking the silence.

'Of course Harry. We'll come see you later okay?' Hermione replied.

but Harry had already closed his eyes and seemed to be drifting of to sleep. Ron walked out the door first. Hermione turned round and looked at Harrys still form.  
'Goodnight Harry' she whispered a single tear rolling down her cheek, as she closed the door behind her.

Harry rolled over and stared at the door where Hermione had stood a moment before. Harry knew it was gunna be harder this year to hide himself from Hermione, but he knew he couldnt let her get close. he couldnt let anyone get close. they'd only end up like Sirius and Harry never wanted that to happen.  
He knew that he'd have to distance himself from everyone, for their own safety. He couldnt let them get hurt because of him and Voldemort and the damn prophecy. no, he was going to be all alone this year.  
Harry sighed and rolled back over, took his dreamless sleep potion and got ready to escape the reality of his life for once.

was that any good? please review:) id really apreciate it! sorry it was quite short!


	6. Numb

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry potter 

Thanks to 2 anonymous reviews! Sorry this has taken ages. I had it almost finished and then dad reset everything on the computer! So I lost heaps of stuff. I've tried to write it again but it aint as good as the first copy lol.

Chapter 6: Numb

When Harry woke up he was surprised (although he shouldn't have been) to find that he was not alone. Ron and Hermione were by his side sleeping in the 2 small armchairs beside his small hospital bed. Harry reached over and put on his glasses wondering what the time was, as he still didn't have a watch since the 2nd triwizard tournament.

He suddenly heard voices in the corridor. Harry quickly lay down and pretended to be asleep but there wasn't any need as Dumbledore came over to wake him up anyway. When Harry seemed to be fully awake, Madam Pomfrey slipped yet another strengthening potion in his mouth and Dumbledore began to speak.

'Harry, there is something we need to tell you. Number 4, Privet drive was attacked just under an hour ago by death eaters. They were looking for you.'

'What happened to the Dursleys? Are they ok?' Harry asked

'All three of the Dursleys were killed Harry, and their house burnt down. Voldemort found out how you were protected.'

Harry did not know what to do with this information. He was having an inner battle as two sides of him reacted in different ways. He was glad he wouldn't have to go back there ever again. But even though he never loved the Dursleys, and they treated him so badly, Harry didn't want them dead, especially because of him. How many was that now? How many people had died because of Harry? Sirius, Cedric, his parents, and now the three Dursleys.

He looked up at Dumbledore, not knowing how to respond. The Dursleys couldn't be dead. They were the constant thing in his life. No matter what happened at Hogwarts, he always knew he'd be back at the Dursleys. And no matter what was going on in the wizarding world, the Dursleys would be the same as ever. But now they weren't there.

Harry felt kind of numb after this news and speechless. Dumbledore broke the silence that had filled the room.

'We will give you time alone now Harry. You can tell Hermione and Ron when you wish. Don't feel guilty Harry - The Dursleys death's were not your fault and they were not good people anyway. Focus on the future.'

And with that he left, leaving Harry to try and think about what had just happened and how he felt about it.

Sorry the chapters so short. Please review!

I need help picking the ship because I'm not sure yet so please review and help me out! It only takes a minute and it helps me heaps!

I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can!


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